In the Sandbox #6

Nightwalking prompt

First, a confession.

Last weekend’s “Nightwalking Speaks!” essay was much scarier to post than I imagined it would be.

While it’s true I’m naturally more self-revealing than most people I know, with that post other thoughts flooded my mind: Isn’t it annoyingly self-indulgent to share this? It’s all in the past—so why haven’t you moved on yet? Why dwell on past worries? How is your own '“navel-gazing bullshit” supposed to be helpful to others?

Well kids, those prickly questions lie at the heart of what I hope this week’s prompt will confront.

I have a theory: Nightwalking DOESN’T want you to talk about it (“Shhhh…let’s just keep this between you and me, pal.”). I beg to differ: I think you must.

For this week’s “In the Sandbox” (our Friday community confab around each aspect of Daytalking, Nightwalking, and Stargazing, where we workshop a bit and share ideas with each other), I’m going to ease us into a Nightwalking prompt, given the emotional weight of the subject. And specifically because of that heft, I’m hoping new and untested ideas from the larger group will encourage further reflection, support, and, heck, maybe action. That said, please judge for yourself the degree to which you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts in the comments. We’re all different. I get that.

Let’s start with the common term “negative self-talk.” Most of us who’ve grown up around psychology or therapy or just watched daytime talk shows know the standard fare: “Don’t ‘should’ on yourself,” “Fight back against your own negative biases,” or self-talk such as: “I’ll never be good at anything” or “They all hate me!”—with the well-known hand sign for “LOSER” smacked on your own forehead.

But for this prompt, I’m sniffing around for something more … pernicious.

I’m hoping you know what I mean.

First, it’s fine to start with language, because, well, it’s a solid place from which to begin. So if you have particular sayings you use (to yourself, of course—as the link reveals, I return to “justing” ALL. THE. TIME. Example: “If I can get just TEN more Substack subscribers, I’m set.”) then begin there. But I want to laser focus on a mood or feeling that accompanies those sayings or statements.

And here’s the reason: I believe murky, nearly wordless emotions are the godawful burning incinerator that stokes Nightwalking’s negativity.

Words are flimsy. Language is fairly easy to locate and restate in more realistic or positive terms. But emotions and feelings and moods—whoa boy, there’s the treacle-spattered cupboard full of sticky annoying crap that no one really wants to go too deep into. And to clean it out all by yourself? Fuggetaboutit.

Unfortunately, I think we must. Even further, that’s why we have each other to help out.

So, here’s the prompt:

1. In the comments below, try to describe the emotion behind whatever negative or dark saying you often use. Give it a color, a shape, a weight or a size, anything to morph it from a sort of “faceless-nameless ectoplasmic itchy-scratchy feeling-thingy” thing into a clearer “yup, that’s where the shit sits and stays and stinks to high heaven.”

Good luck and thank you for being so brave. Your thoughts are a gift to us all.

See you in the comments!