In the Sandbox #13

Daytalking prompt

“True belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” —Brené Brown, Atlas of the Heart

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I’ve been finding a lot of value and comfort in Brené Brown’s latest work, Atlas of the Heart. It was one of the first books I read this year and have been returning to it often while mulling over topics for this site.

And I’ve focused particularly on her emphasizing precise language, which was my original basis for the whole Daytalking, Nightwalking, and Stargazing triad. As Brown states:

“Language is our portal to meaning-making, connection, healing, learning, and self-awareness. Having access to the right words can open up entire universes. When we don’t have the language to talk about what we’re experiencing, our ability to make sense of what’s happening and share it with others is extremely limited. Without accurate language, we struggle to get the help we need, we don’t always regulate or manage our emotions and experiences in a way that allows us to move through them productively, and our self-awareness is diminished. Language shows us that naming an experience doesn’t give the experience more power, it give us the power of understanding and meaning.”

Home in on that last sentence: “…naming an experience doesn’t give the experience more power, it gives us the power of understanding and meaning.”

I feel this is especially important given the fear and churning emotions in the world just now. By first reflecting on those emotions, naming them, and giving voice to them with precision and deliberate care, we can first and foremost belong to ourselves while allowing others to belong, too.

That’s sort of where my mind has been lately.

Coming off this past week’s interview with Jo Petroni, I’ve been thinking a lot about belonging and not belonging: Places in the past where I had trouble fitting in (oddly enough, growing up in my own nuclear family), and places where being myself came naturally (oftentimes amid complete strangers).

Friends can help (or hinder) this process. It’s been my hope that this site will allow subscribers to feel at home here, gather the courage to share their struggles, and support others who are struggling.

Found while perusing items at The Center for Lost Objects last month (Photo by StoryShed Media).

For this week’s In the Sandbox, our regular Friday community confab around each aspect of Daytalking, Nightwalking, and Stargazing, I’d like to tie together two things in the prompt today:

1. Where in your life just now are you struggling to belong, and what would it look like to get the support you need?

2. Share with the group ways you’ve helped others to feel like they belong.

I’ll just briefly mention that my current struggle has been a lifelong one: self-doubt. One thing I’ve done probably more recently to relieve that is by doing the work. When I’m working, I’m doubting less. When I’m ideating (usually alone) I start doubting myself. For the second prompt, I’ve been smiling and making others feel welcome, such as on elevator rides, in hallways at work, and following up with polite chats if the situation warrants. I’ve found it’s made me feel like I belong as much as it has for others.

Thanks for sharing and see you in the comments!